As I mentioned in my previous post, my husband, Kevin, and I are attending Kogod School of Business together. Many people thought we were crazy when after two years of marriage we told them we were BOTH quitting our jobs to go back to school. Others had the do-it-while-you’re-young mentality. Either way, we took the leap, packed our bags, and moved to the big city from Raleigh, North Carolina.
Kevin’s grandparents are both in their 90’s and have been happily married for over 65 years. We asked them before tying-the-knot what are the keys to lasting matrimony. To my surprise their answer was not the typical, “never go to bed angry” or “communication.” Although both suggestions are valid (cliché, but valid), they advised us to not take life too seriously and to make sure we actually LIKE the person we are marrying. Not your typical wedding advice.
Let’s face it, one day I will develop every woman’s worst nightmare, kankles (paired with orthopedic sneakers of course). Kevin will be bald and will probably be missing teeth. According to his grandparents, one day we will slow down, our kids will be grown, and it will just be the two of us, kankly and bald. When that day comes, we need to enjoy one another’s company, we have to LIKE and love each other.
Often I think people believe that Kevin and I have this student-married life down pat, but the truth is, sometimes we are missing the LIKE during the semester. Our MBA frequently bleeds into every aspect of our lives. Arguments tend to resemble a case analysis, with every detail scrutinized. We are quick to lose patience at home or even when doing homework, we incessantly worry about money, and frankly sometimes we are just too exhausted to make time for one another. If there is one lesson we’ve learned in all our years together, it is that relationships require a lot of work.
This semester we’ve implemented Tuesday night date night. We take time away from school, homework, meetings, or any other distraction to reconnect. Tuesdays have officially become my favorite day of the week.
Even with the struggles of earning our degree together, I am fortunate to be experiencing a new city and meeting new people with my best friend. And no matter where life takes us after we’ve received our MBA’s, we will still work together to make our relationship strong. For better or worse, richer or poorer, (we are in our poorer stage now) we will love and LIKE each other until we are old, gray, and well, bald with orthopedic shoes.